The past few weeks have been interesting . . .my father in and out of hospitals, a new OR scheduling system at work that has been a nightmare to transition into, working the "crack shift" which involves getting up at 3 am for 2 consecutive weeks, my bathroom getting ripped apart, dogsitting Chachi (who enjoys fighting with Dima), making some major career/possibly-moving-back-to-MN decisions, trying to get a sermon together for next month (any ideas?), Lenten soup discussions on Thursdays, and some nasty driving weather to boot!
And what tops it off, you might ask? I gave up coffee for Lent. I thought it might be good to sacrifice something I genuinely like, instead of something that would ultimately be self-serving (I admit it; I contemplated giving up chocolate or going on a sugar fast to possibly lose some weight--all in the name of Lent, of course). So with that said, I am now more aware of coffee than I have ever been in my entire life!!
Despite its presence everywhere, I have thus far held out: in emergency department waiting rooms, at work, church, in my own kitchen . . .and I'm learning small things along the way. For instance, this morning I was in the hallway of Oconomowoc Memorial Hospital, waiting for a nurse to update me and my mother on my father's condition. The coffee pots with their creamers, stir sticks, and other essentials were staring at me as I was lovingly staring at them, and I went about rationalizing why it was perfectly fine for me to have a cup. Quickly, the internal dialogue led to a resounding "Jesus himself would urge you to drink this cup, Kristy!" (Feel free to think "psycho" here, I could very well be a sinking ship.) But then I thought of the shoes I had wanted to buy at REI, and I thought of a cross country race in college where I had actually looked around for a hole to twist my ankle in so that I could be done with the race (no hole available, thankfully), and I thought of Israel's desert years and the golden calf . . .and I again realized my need to find the quick fix in a situation instead of suffering through something that is uncomfortable, but for my good. There's much more to unpack here . . .but I know that it ultimately comes down to my inability to fully trust something, someone else, myself, even God. My skepticism rules frequently!
So who knew free coffee and a refusal to drink it would lead to such a helpful realization?
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A lover of the woods, people, and dogs. A lover of words and beautiful thoughts.
2 comments:
I said "wow" outloud when I read you gave up coffee. A very brave thing to do, especially with the stress it sounds like you are surrounded in. What is going on with your dad?! How is he?
Congratulations on holding out thus far - I think you are truely in the midst of Lent.
Hi Nicole.
My dad had one of his knees replaced and had complications after. He seems to be doing well now, so I think he is through the hardest portion of recovery. Needless to say, it has been an adventure.
Thanks for asking and caring. :)
As for the coffee . . .let me just say that I've been drinking a lot of tea to curb the headaches (though this doesn't always work), so I'm not as holy as I'd like to sound. I do recommend the challenge, should you ever find yourself persuaded in that direction.
I hope you're well in chilly CT.
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